I do not TRY to act feminine.
I do not TRY to be a girl.
I do not TRY to pretend to be…. Anything.
I am feminine.
I am gender fluid.
I am true to myself.
Be who you are because it could inspire someone else to do the same.
Before I was comfortable expressing my gender fluidity out in public, I used to get really frustrated with myself and at the world. This was the first pair of leggings I ever had and I got them from my friend Julia, who was like “here, I never wear these anymore.” I pretended to just be like “…ooooookay….” but on the inside I was freaking out. I was so excited to get home and put them on.
After getting those leggings, whenever I would get upset or frustrated about not having the courage to wear them out in public, I would put them on and walk around in the woods behind my house. It was the only place I could go to be myself, feel like myself, act like myself… without fear of being noticed by anyone else.
This picture was taken by Julia, who at first was upset that I made her want her leggings back, but then encouraged me to wear them out to go shopping with her for a new pair. Finally I gave in and wore this same outfit to the mall. Lots of people stared but Julia kept me occupied with conversation, but then, it seemed like every store I walked into, someone complimented me on my leggings. At first I was so embarrassed because I felt like their comments were stated in a sarcastic kind of way. But then, I realized that even if their comments were sarcastic, it didn’t matter, because I wasn’t wearing leggings for them, I was wearing them for myself, because they made me happy.
The experience taught me that hiding my true self was not keeping anyone else but myself, from my own happiness. I learned that the approval of society and the public eye was WAY less important than being happy.